The New Holiday Film Critique – The Streaming Giant’s Latest Christmas Romcom Lacks Fizz.

Without wanting to sound like a holiday cynic, one must bemoan the premature release of holiday movies before Thanksgiving. Even as temperatures drop, it seems too soon to fully indulge in Netflix’s yearly feast of cheap festive entertainment.

Similar to US candy which don’t contain genuine cocoa, Netflix’s Christmas films are counted on for their brand of badness. They provide predictable elements – nostalgic casting, low budgets, fake snow, and unbelievable plots. In the worst cases, these movies are forgettable train wrecks; at best, they are forgettable fun.

The new Netflix film, the latest Christmas offering, blends into the broad center of the forgettable spectrum. Helmed by the filmmaker, who previously previous romantic comedy was so disposable, this film goes down like low-quality champagne – fittingly lackluster and context-dependent.

It begins with what looks like an AI-generated ad for supermarket sparkling wine. This commercial is actually the proposal of the main character, played by Minka Kelly, to her colleagues at a financial firm. Sydney is the stereotypical image of a career woman – overlooked, phone-obsessed, and driven to the detriment of her private world. When her boss sends her to Paris to finalize an acquisition over Christmas, her sister makes her promise take one night in the city to live for herself.

Naturally, the French capital is the perfect place to wrest one away from digital navigation, despite Paris is draped with below-grade CGI snow. In an absurdly cutesy bookshop, Sydney meet-cutes with the male lead, and he distracts her from her phone. Following the genre, she initially resists this perfect man for frivolous excuses.

Equally as expected are the film elements that unfold at abrupt quarter turns, mirroring the turning of aging champagne bottles in the cellars of Chateau Cassel. The twist? Henri is the successor to Chateau Cassel, reluctant to manage it and bitter toward his dad for putting it up for sale. In perhaps the movie’s biggest addition to the genre, he is highly critical of corporate buyouts. The problem? Sydney sincerely believes she’s not stripping the ancestral business for parts, vying against three stereotypical rivals: a stern Frenchwoman, a severe blonde German man, and an out-of-touch wealthy man.

The development? Her shady colleague the office rival shows up without warning. The core? Henri and Sydney look yearningly at each other in festive sleepwear, despite a huge divide in financial perspective.

The gift and the curse is that nothing here lingers longer than a short-lived thrill on an unfilled belly. There’s a lack of substantial content – the lead actress, most famous for her role in the TV series, gives a strictly serviceable performance, all sweet surfaces and gestures of care, more maternal than love interest material. The male star provides exactly the dollop of French charm with light inner conflict and little else. The tricks are not amusing, the romance is inoffensive, and the happy-ever-after is predictable.

Despite its philosophizing on the exclusivity of sparkling wine, nobody claims this is anything but a mass market item. The flaws are the very reasons some enjoy it. It’s fair to say an expert’s opinion about the film a champagne problem.

• Champagne Problems is now available on the platform.